


the nearest famous city middle where they hang the lights

by hansoom



Category: Oh My Girl (Band)
Genre: but it gets ok after that, sad ahead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansoom/pseuds/hansoom
Summary: Mihyun runs into Seunghee on a Thursday.To be more precise: Mihyun runs, in the first stirrings of a thunderstorm, into a small CD-store on a Thursday.





	

**Author's Note:**

> wowie

Mihyun runs into Seunghee on a Thursday.

To be more precise: Mihyun runs, in the first stirrings of a thunderstorm, into a small CD-store on a Thursday. There's no one else there other than the cashier and a girl in a light white blouse and red skirt skimming the section labeled "Foreign Music". Her head's tipped at a 60-degree angle to her shoulder, lips forming carefully the English words emblazoned on the cover of an Adele album.

Mihyun's creating a puddle on the floor that has the cashier moving forward uncertainly towards her -- from the look in her eyes, not to ask her to leave, but maybe stand in a corner of the shop that won't be eroded by a human tap.

When Mihyun looks back at the girl in the red skirt, she's approached without a sound, holding out a bright blue raincoat. Her smile is genial and a little guarded, but her hand is steady.

'You can, uh,' she says, and giggles a bit. 'You can use this if you want, I pack a few for rainy days.'

'Hah,' Mihyun says, before she can stop herself. The girl's eyebrows raise in surprise. Mihyun rushes to clarify. 'You know. Rainy days.' The girl lets out a short laugh then, breaking out into a warmer smile. Mihyun takes it from her, peels open the plastic packaging shoddily and stuffs it into her bag.

The cashier snorts, returning to her spot behind the counter, leans back and swipes a carefully-decorated hello kitty themed nail across her screen.

Mihyun unfolds the raincoat and retreats to a corner, stands on it and decidedly doesn't lean against the pristine white wall. Mihyun's used to being a wallflower. Maybe not in this specific context, but her phone's dead and the rain outside's nearly loud enough to drown out the acoustic music filling the shop, so she'll adapt.

'So,' the girl says, after a while. 'Come here often?'

Her lips are quirked up into a small smile, and she's looking right at Mihyun as she says this.

'Uh. No,' Mihyun says, and hesitates. She _could_ tell her about how she got really lost on the way to a dance recital and probably just failed the audition by default and _then_ got caught in the rain and ended up here, making conversation with a stranger, or she could hm and ha a bit until the rain recedes.

The girl's eyes are warm, her fingers closing around a record that Mihyun would have bought if her card hadn't just been blocked by her constant neglect to pay for her backlog. So Mihyun says: 'Not really, I don't, uh. Live near here. I'm from Jeju. I mean, I live in an apartment, but that's not. Near here either. I'm just not, you know. Uh. In the vicinity,' she finishes lamely, and starts to regret talking at all.

The other girl laughs, then, leaning a little towards where Mihyun's standing, ignoring the fact that she can't string a proper sentence together. 'Come more often, then,' she says. 'Yewon gets bored with only my company.'

The cashier rolls her eyes. 'People actually _come_ here, _unnie_ , just not in the afternoons. True Indie-lovers only come at night.'

Red-skirt laughs. Mihyun notices -- because Mihyun notices a lot of unimportant things, minute things -- that her eyes turn into crescents, disappear into light eyeliner and barely-there eyebags. That she relaxes a little, slumps forward from her perfect posture.

'I'm Seunghee,' the girl says, moving from her spot on the counter-top. Mihyun looks down at her hands: a little wrinkled, but blown dry by the air-conditioner in the shop.

She takes Seunghee's outstretched hand.

*

Mihyun finds out, after the storm has blown over, that Seunghee lives in a building a few blocks away from here, that Seunghee's studying at Uni now but moonlights at bars sometimes for change. Her parents supported her singing career for a while before both of them realized she was never going to make it big.

Mihyun bristles a little at this and maybe partly at the way Seunghee's knee brushes lightly against hers. Mihyun's used to her parents' dismissiveness, but it feels different coming from someone else.

'They really said that?'

'What?' Seunghee's staring out the bus window thoughtfully.

'That you were, you know,' she says, stammering for no conceivable reason.

'Oh, gosh,' Seunghee says, realization dawning on her face. 'No, no,' Seunghee says, straightening up suddenly. 'They wouldn't ever say that. They'd support me into bankruptcy. Not that I would ever _want_ them to, which is why. Which is why I dropped it and went to Uni.'

'Oh,' Mihyun says, flushes a bright red. She knows because it travels down to the tips of her fingers, and envy mixes with something unidentifiable in her gut.

'I just meant,' Seunghee says, with a conviction Mihyun wishes she could feel, 'I just meant that I realized it was time to grow up.'

Mihyun thinks about the shitty waitressing job she's doing to fund her dance classes, the amount of time she actually spends _awake_ during actual -- important, academic -- classes, and the gentle curve of Seunghee's jaw.

'And do you like it?' Mihyun probes, only because she knows Seunghee would decline to answer as pleasantly as possible. 'Bio, I mean.'

Seunghee smiles a little. It's not as much contemplative as wistful, and Mihyun suddenly feels like she's stepped over a line she shouldn't have when she notices the cant of Seunghee's shoulders, higher than they were a moment before.

'I'm good at it,' Seunghee says, finally, and lets the whir of the bus's engine engulf them until they reach Mihyun's stop.

*

'You should text him,' Jiho says, flopping onto the couch next to Mihyun. She slings a lazy arm around Mihyun's shoulder, peering at her phone screen. Mihyun nearly breaks her finger trying to turn it off.

'Who?' Mihyun retorts, pushing Jiho's arm away.

'Please, _unnie_ ,' Jiho drawls, and Yoobin echoes it from the kitchen except with more concern and less mocking. Mihyun hears the slamming of the fridge door. 'Just staring at your phone without touching anything? You nearly poured milk into Yoobin's noodles this morning.'

'I'm just watching dance videos,' Mihyun counters. 'You know, like I always do?'

'Prove it,' Jiho says, snatching the phone from Mihyun's grasp. Mihyun's password is Jiho's birthday because she accidentally threw Jiho's assignment into the garbage shoot and has been making up for it ever since, but this is the moment where she thinks they're officially even.

Jiho runs to the kitchen, yelling _Man the fort!_ and Yoobin emerges in front of Mihyun, blocking her way.

'You're in on this too?'

'I'm in on your safety, happiness, and your ability to mix the right foods with the correct liquids,' Yoobin says, and _honestly_ , that this is the thing that tips Yoobin over the edge to side with _Jiho_ , of all people-

' _Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh_ ,' Jiho announces, from the kitchen, sounding like some kind of poor excuse for a whale.

'Yoobin,' Mihyun says, slumping against a resolute human barrier, 'why do I even bother.'

*

Jiho is hanging over Mihyun's shoulder as she drafts the text, and Mihyun wants to stab her with a pen.

'You can't just say _hi_ ,' Jiho says, against Mihyun's shoulder blade, 'you gotta go for something more impactful, like a meme or something.' Mihyun is _this_ close to throwing her out the open window.

'Why don't you go study for all the classes you're failing?' Mihyun gets up from her chair and walks a large circle around the room like some kind of idiot, thumbs hovering over the screen.

'Weak burn,' Jiho pops up from behind her, too close to Mihyun's ear. 'I'll,' Jiho says, jabbing Mihyun's shoulder each time, and Mihyun's fingers run across the keys, 'Have,' Mihyun's finger hits the _send_ button by accident, and she watches in mute horror as the inevitable comes to fruition. Jiho, oblivious, keeps going, 'you. Know,'

'I'm evicting you from this room,' Mihyun says, pushing Jiho away hard enough to bruise. 'From this city,' she decides, 'if I don't get a reply because of this _mess_.'

She shoves the phone in front of Jiho's face and watches a mix of guilt and slowly-growing panic settle itself into her features.

*

11:53 _did she reply? maybe she has an early class tomorrow and slept early_  
11:54 _it's unreceived, right? so she just hasn't read it it's probably going to be super endearing honestly!_  
11:57 _i'm never ever ever ever calling you a lemon again i'm so sorry_  
11:57 _or a dancing lemon. not that either_  
11:57 _NOT EVEN SID FROM ICE AGE. I'M THIS SORRY!!!_

*

Seunghee does reply. At the breakfast table, where Jiho is staring at Yoobin and telling her about how brilliant Mihyun is as a dancer and how she's an amazing artist, Mihyun's phone goes off with a ring and Jiho's eyes _bug out_ as she scrambles to unlock the screen. As she's entering the lock combination, Mihyun's phone goes off again and again, the same way Mihyun's heart feels like it's moving out of the space in her chest cavity into her stomach.

'She,' Jiho says, to Mihyun's hands that are hiding Mihyun's face.

'I am a GENIUS!'

'You are a LEMON,' Jiho yells, again, and Mihyun removes her hands from her face. Yoobin is reading the messages calmly, a small smile on her face.

'You might have to let her call you that for a while,' Yoobin says, finally, handing the phone over to Mihyun.

*

They meet in Mihyun's cafeteria, where Jiho and Yoobin are seated five tables away. Jiho's staring over the top of her book, which is how Mihyun knows that she's definitely looking over at them. Yoobin is actually _studying_ , like she should be. But Yoobin can probably do ten things at one time, so Mihyun can't stop herself from blushing when Seunghee finally arrives.

'You look nice when you're dry,' Seunghee says, and Mihyun gets even redder than she already was, which she didn't think was possible. She can practically _feel_ Jiho laughing from metres away.

'Thank you,' Mihyun says, finally. Her throat feels dry. 'Uh, so how did you know. I mean, was it hard coming here?'

'I don't get lost easily,' Seunghee says, pulling out her chair. She laughs as Mihyun's lips twist in embarrassment. 'Just kidding. A friend studies here, so I come over pretty often.'

'Oh,' Mihyun says. 'That's cool.'

'Choi Hyojung,' Seunghee says, digging around in her bag for her wallet. 'Ring a bell?'

It rings twenty bells. Choi Hyojung as in _the_ Choi Hyojung, as in head of the freshmen committee, beloved by all, that Choi Hyojung?

'I think I may have heard of her,' Mihyun says, voice surprisingly level.

'Nice,' Seunghee says, grabbing Mihyun's hand and pulling her up. 'You guys should meet. In fact, I know this great place where-'

Mihyun nods, but she's not really sure what Seunghee said anyway since all she hears after Seunghee takes her hand is the sound of blood rushing through her ears.

*

'You're looking sprightly today,' Shiah tells her as they're slumped against the walls of the dance studio.

'Uh, sure,' Mihyun says, because she's not sure what it means. She makes a mental note to ask Yoobin when she gets home. 'You too...I think.'

'Thanks,' Shiah says, barking out a laugh. 'Anyway, you're coming for auditions on Saturday, right? I texted you the address last night but you may have missed it.'

Mimi almost says _huh_ , because Saturday is Seunghee's gig at 630pm and Seunghee's going to be singing four songs and Hyojung will be playing the keyboard and Mihyun was going to be there right in the front row watching her, and-

'Oh,' Mihyun says, and it comes out so deflated that Shiah looks over, concerned.

'Can you not make it? We talked about it like, months ago! You _have_ to come, they'll love you.'

'Yeah,' Mihyun says, pulling at her shoelaces in frustration. They come apart in a heap on the top of her shoe. 'I'll be there, it just slipped my mind for a bit.'

*

8:43 _hey remember how I told you I danced? a bit?_

Three glasses of orange juice and a toilet trip later, Seunghee gets back to her.

9:00 _yeah!! why? wanna show me :)?_

Mihyun knows she should like, wait a little or something to come off less desperate but she's also buzzing with so much nervous energy that it's impossible. She waits for the clock to turn into the next minute and hits _send_.

9:01 _i just remembered that i won't be able to make it for your gig on saturday ):_  
9:01 _i was really looking forward to it but there's this audition i gotta go to_

9:01 _oh my gosh_  
9:02 _that's so exciting??_  
9:02 _please go for it oh gosh i wish i were there to watch it_  
9:02 _best of luck :))))) youre gonna do amazing you have the whole dancer package down, even the hair. and the swag. and the charisma_  
9:03 _the name. mihyun is a great dancer name_

The tightness in Mihyun's chest dissipates as she reads the messages over and over again, refreshes the chat to make sure it's real.

'Wowwwwww,' a voice says, beside her ear, and Mihyun jumps so high her shoulder hits Jiho's chin.

'Okay, firstly,' Jiho says, 'chill?'

'And secondly!'

'It looks like she really likes you,' Yoobin continues, to her left.

'When you guys bring anyone over, I'm going tell them about how you hid ten boxes or oreos under your bed and caused an ant infestation.'

'That wasn't me,' Yoobin cuts in.

'And that _you_ ,' Mihyun continues, 'bring stray animals home _every. single._ _day_. And also obsessively keep up that weird life chart thing, calm down, you're making everyone feel inadequate.'

'Woah,' Yoobin says, bringing her palms in front of her as a peace offering.

'Gotcha,' Jiho says, retreating a little. 'No more oreos.'

'That isn't the _point_ ,' Mihyun yells, a little, but all Jiho does is laugh, tangling her fingers with Yoobin's.

*

The audition goes well.

They're a little _too_ enthusiastic, telling her and Shiah to _keep in touch for sure, see you guys at the next auditions_ (are they even allowed to do that?).

Mihyun kicks a pebble off the pavement outside the building: it's got a new coat of paint and a small **WM** logo, but that's all there is to it. 'Are you sure this place is legit?' It's 1030pm and the stupid part of Mihyun's brain tells her that if she wishes hard enough, she can probably make it to see Seunghee at the bar at the other side of the city.

'Mimi,' Shiah teases, and starts laughing, slinging an arm around Mihyun's shoulder. Mihyun hates the nickname, but if anyone gets to use it, her dancing partner from back when she hadn't grown out of her awkward stage yet probably has enough license. 'Trust me on this one.'

'Fine,' she says, curling her arm around Shiah's waist. ' _Shiahshiah_.'

*

The next time Mihyun sees Seunghee, she isn't expecting it and has to fight the urge to run and hide behind a bush. Hyejin's walking beside her, a little perplexed that she's rounding the bend into the same place they came from.

Seunghee's with a boy. He looks as nice as anyone could look, but Mihyun hates him immediately, setting her things out on a table far enough from Seunghee's gaze but near enough to watch how she covers her mouth as she laughs.

Seunghee's wearing a bright block-yellow sweater today, its a little oversized and make her hands disappear into her sleeves. She's leaning over a sheet of paper and drawing something on it while the guy leans over to observe.

From afar he looks really, really handsome.

'He's really handsome,' Hyejin says, beside her.

'What?'

'The guy you're staring at. That's a good-looking guy.'

'Right,' Mihyun says, feeling a little ridiculous. Seunghee can hang out with whoever she likes, even if the whoever is a little too tall and good looking and gentle-natured for Mihyun's liking. Anyway, this could be for work, since they look really focused and work-ey. It's definitely for work.

'You gonna work on this or admire him from a distance until it gets dark?' Hyejin unfolds their canvas and pulls out the brushes from her bag. The artwork itself is mostly done but Mihyun has no idea what they're going to write in the description. It's just a bunch of really nicely drawn ducks crossing a really nicely drawn street.

'It inspires feelings of kindness and tender-heartedness,' Hyejin suggests, as Mihyun finally tears her eyes from across the yard.

'Brilliant,' Mihyun says, and means it, feeling kind and tender-hearted as she assesses the drawing.

'It brings out resilience amidst gentleness,' Mihyun adds, and Hyejin smiles at that. 'Good,' Hyejin says, scribbling furiously. 'I could do this all night!'

*

7:45 _any auditions tomorrow?_

Mihyun gets out of the shower and checks her phone, feels her heart jump inside her chest.

8:00 _not that i know of but lmk if you got any opportunities for me... my eyes are always open._  
8:00 _i mean i'm keeping my options open idk if keeping my eyes open is a proper phrase_

Mihyun tries to shake the image of Seunghee with mystery man out of her head. She hates that it's even _in_ her head -- she didn't know she had the capacity to be this petty. People hang out all the time for different reasons. Including romantic reasons. Seunghee could be finding her true love at this moment. Mihyun would be so happy when she can know for sure.

8:10 _LOL_  
8:10 _mm yeah i got a few friends lining up at your door this very instant_ 8:11 _anyway_  
8:11 _watch me transition smoothly out of that_  
8:11 _and cordially invite you to the ricecake bar tomorrow_  
8:11 _for the unveiling of a new song!!_

8:12 _omg_  
8:12 _count me in??_  
8:12 _count me ten times in_

8:13 _i'm counting on you then_  
8:16 _get it_  
8:17 _counting_

Mihyun is counting the number of outfits in her wardrobe, eliminating the ones that she worn to see Seunghee the last time, trying on ten before she settles on the right one.

*

When Mihyun meets Hyojung, she feels like the reason why no one has ever said anything negative about her is that they'll never be able to find proof.

Hyojung smiles through the entire 1-hour set, smiles as she greets Mihyun _really enthusiastically_ , smiles as she downs a particularly strong shot of tequila.

'I'd love to see you around more often,' Hyojung says, clasping Mihyun's hands in her two own. They're unusually warm. 'I mean, we're in the same school, and everything.'

'Okay,' Mihyun says, and starts to smile less of her own accord and more because of some type of strange gravity that Hyojung creates around herself.

Seunghee is ferrying Mihyun around to meet her band members and friends -- 'because it's your first time' -- and Mihyun feels it coming before she sees him.

'This is Jinyoung-ssi. He's a musical genius and composed our song tonight, so.'

Jinyoung's handsomely smug -- okay, Mihyun's lying, he looks super nice and genuine and friendly and Mihyun is feeling conflicted for no reason at all -- face greets her.

'Uh, actually,' he says, and even his voice is nice. Mihyun wants to throw herself off the stage. 'Seunghee wrote the song. I just gave her some tips which she,' he gives Seunghee a fond look, 'didn't need anyway.'

'Sure thing, _oppa_ ,' Seunghee laughs, and leans into his side. Mihyun could think of a few more enjoyable things than watching Seunghee lean into Jinyoung's side and looping her arm around into the space between his elbow and waist: for example, being sucked into the linoleum floor.

*

'You're grumpy today.'

'Okay, _that_ I understand.'

'What did you not understand before?'

Mihyun opens her mouth and then closes it, shaking her head. She's been venting her frustration on their new routine, and it shows: she's exhausted after three runs and they haven't even gotten to the hard part yet.

'Crappy assignment?' Shiah tries, walking over to turn off the CD player. Shiah's phone pings right when the music cuts off, and she goes to the other room to check.

Mihyun takes deep breaths: _you are more than this weird feeling. You are your own person. You're an art major. You can dance. You can sing a bit. You can probably rap, if you really tried. Composing is nothing. You could compose too, if you wanted to. You're a legend!_

'I HAVE GOOD NEWS,' Shiah bursts into the room. 'WE GOT CALLED BACK!'

'What,' Mihyun says, because she's still trying to untangle herself from her inadequacy.

'WM Entertainment, tomorrow! The final! Auditions!'

'Oh,' Mihyun says, and everything starts to whir inside her head.

*

Jiho and Yoobin fuss over her like the 19-year-olds they usually try not to be. Yoobin calls her five times to check that she's awake and ready to go, Jiho cuts a whole bunch of fruits and puts them in both of her backpacks, just to be safe.

'Fiber will really get your rhythm going,' Jiho tells her. It's nothing if not novel, because Mihyun's never heard this in her life, not even on the Internet.

'Uh, thanks,' Mihyun says, and grabs her bag to leave.

'We believe in you!' Jiho yells after her as the door slams shut.

*

9:50 _so how was it? :D_

9:55 _how was what?_

9:56 _the audition_  
9:56 _your roommates told me_  
9:56 _because i called and you weren't there_

9:57 _oh._  
9:57 _um, results are coming out tomorrow_

9:57 _you're gonna get in. i know it_

Mihyun remembers, suddenly, that this used to be Seunghee's dream. It still is, just in a different form now, but she doesn't want to be dismissive or rude or -- or anything. She doesn't want Seunghee to feel a single negative emotion in her life. So she mulls over it until she falls asleep and wakes up in the morning, phone in hand, forgetting.

*

10:00 _good morning_

10:30 _hey :) what's up? news?_

10:35 _yeah. i made it_

10:37 _WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

Mihyun nearly chokes on her coffee. She's not used to drinking it, still, but she put off two assignments last night thinking about the reply and is in a royally bad situation right now. Hyejin is over at their dorm helping Mihyun colour in her lines.

10:38 _anyway i. really have to go i have two assignments and im screwed but. thank you so much for believing in me_

10:40 _WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

*

Seunghee is at Mihyun's dance concert.

It's a small thing that they host each year, but their studio's slowly getting bigger through the power of Youtube, so their boss has more money to rent venues that don't look like they're about to collapse over the audience's head.

So Mihyun invites her.

And Seunghee comes.

She's alone, without Jinyoung-ssi, which Mihyun should have expected but is also a bit too relieved about. Mihyun can't see her while she's dancing -- everything turns into a blur, whether from the sweat clamming up her bangs or because all Mihyun can see when she dances is beats and music. When training starts in earnest, when she moves into WM, it'll be near impossible to dance at one of these concerts again, so Mihyun gives it her all, feels like it amounted to something as the audience explodes into a roar as she slides into her final pose.

It takes 5 minutes for them to sit down, another twenty for thanks and accolades. When Mihyun emerges through the doors she's about to pass out, but Seunghee is there, smiling so bright that Mihyun feels like something inside her ribcage is going into overdrive.

Seunghee is eloquent and kind and good and she looks at Mihyun and says 'you were amazing,' hands her a CD with hello kitty stickers all over it, another that's wrapped in a simple brown package.

'Yewon sends her regards,' Seunghee says, gentle, like the arms that are enveloping her, and Mihyun buries her head into Seunghee's shoulder and says nothing at all.

*

Mihyun thinks about Seunghee all the time when she practices, but there have been the mummurings about a debut date and Mihyun knows she's new, knows she needs a lot more catching up, knows she still looks awkward in front of the camera.

She misses a few of Seunghee's gigs and Seunghee stops asking, after a while, and Mihyun wants to ask but doesn't want to over-promise, and Jiho's always telling her that Seunghee's calling to ask if she's home.

11:50 _what name are you going to go by? let's skip the whole "if you debut" argument tonight please_

Mihyun's so tired that she can barely open her eyes, but her fingers move of her own accord. They always do when it's Seunghee.

11:51 _what do you think of mihyun?_

11:51 _it's good_

11:52 _you're just saying that_

11:53 _mihyun would be my favourite member for the name alone_

Mihyun laughs with the little strength she has left in her body, slings a towel over her shoulder.

11:54 _seunghee would be my favourite member for the name alone_

She regrets it the moment she sends it, sits with the radio silence for a while before turning her phone off altogether.

*

1:00 _do you want to come over tonight? it's okay if you're busy but we can, idk, watch a movie or something. to destress_

Mihyun still hasn't gotten this move down and Shiah's already miles ahead of her, but she's tired of pretending that this means more to her than Seunghee, Seunghee with the warm smile and the raincoat and the CDs and the quiet hands.

8:00 _see you at 8_

*

They watch a horrible movie.

By the middle of it, Mihyun is keeping Seunghee awake by parroting everything that this guy with an impressive moustache says in English, and Seunghee leans into her, laughing and hitting Mihyun's lap.

Seunghee is so warm against her and Mihyun has missed it so much and her tongue feels loose from the alcohol they've been drinking so she says: _it's a pity you're not training with me_ and Seunghee recoils like she's been slapped. It came out all wrong, Mihyun wants to say, but Seunghee listens to every word and every phrase and knows.

'I didn't-'

'No, it's fine,' Seunghee says, quickly, trying to smooth over the chasm that's suddenly sprung up between the two of them. Mihyun feels it in her fingertips and wishes with all her heart that she could take it back.

They sit in silence for a while, and Mihyun sees Seunghee's eyes reddening. Mihyun's arm aches because she knows she shouldn't but she wants to wipe the tears that are forming away, and Seunghee's moving a little bit backwards, away from her, like Mihyun would hurt her again.

'My dance instructor used to tell me,' Seunghee says, voice low and shaky, and Mihyun hates that she caused this. 'That I wasn't beautiful enough to be a star, and not good enough to be a singer.'

Mihyun feels a sort of white rage that courses through her entire body, angry that anyone was allowed to let Seunghee feel this way.

The other girl looks back up. 'I think she was right.'

Mihyun feels something inside her break, and she leans forward and takes Seunghee's face into her hands as gently as she can and presses a kiss to Seunghee's cheek because she's a coward and Seunghee is looking at her with wide eyes and she _knows_ , Mihyun thinks, suddenly. Mimi's messed it all up and now she _knows_.

'She was wrong,' Mihyun tells her, and her voice comes out funny and broken and Seunghee is still staring at her, arms limp at her sides. 'You deserve it more than I ever will,' Mihyun says, and she wants to say _and I would give it up for you_ but she's not sure if she wants to and not sure if she could and not sure that Seunghee would accept anything from her now.

'I think you should go,' Seunghee says, quietly.

Mihyun thinks this is how it feels like to break, have everything you thought you had ripped away from you in seconds. Everything was going so well so something had to go wrong and this is it, the thing she feared the most, why she didn't drink anything at Seunghee's gigs.

'Okay,' Mihyun says, collects her jacket with her hand that's shaking so badly she can barely put it through the sleeve. She doesn't look at Seunghee. 'Goodnight.'

*

Mihyun gets to debut.

There's only so much you can do with frantic energy before it becomes something productive, and Mihyun bests Shiah in weekly evaluations, learns how to write raps with shitty lyrics that sound good since no one's really listening anyway.

Mihyun gets to debut and Yoobin's worried she might die from how little sleep she's getting.

'You have to slow down,' Hyejin says beside her, peeling an orange and scattering the peels across Mihyun's lap, 'there's more important things than being the best.'

'Like what?' Mihyun says, crossing out a line that doesn't fit.

'Like sleep. Like friends. Like not doing the human equivalent of preparing for a trip to the moon.'

'Call me when you're competing with 10 other girls for one spot.'

'You already _got_ the spot.'

'I could lose the spot.'

Hyejin wraps a hand around Mimi's wrist and squeezes so hard that she lets go of the pen. It clatters to the floor.

'Your lyrics have been incorporated into the album art, which you are in. Your parents have received the letter that tells them your company is disclaiming as much legal liability as is possible to disclaim. You're going to debut.'

Mihyun lets out a breath.

'You need to stop psyching yourself out like this,' Hyejin says. 'Where was this version of you when I was doing all the work for that one assignment we got C on?'

Mihyun looks at Hyejin, who's looking at her, dead serious, lips drawn into a frown, and it's suddenly the funniest thing in the world. Hyejin films her descent into hysterical laughter and sends it to Jiho and Yoobin, who are kind enough to delete it from their phones but not without depositing it in their caches first.

It's not normalcy, Mihyun thinks. But it's something. The sound of her soul coming back up to the surface.

*

Jiho gets a sorethroat at their group's showcase.

Hyojung is there too, and she's still smiling, but Mihyun's met her enough to know that this is real and Seunghee hasn't told her anything, because Seunghee is Seunghee and she's too kind and too bright and too nice and that's why Mihyun-

That's why Mihyun.

'Congratulations,' Hyojung says, and her hands are as warm as Mihyun remembers. Mihyun tries to smile, not the one she's learned but the one she feels, dizzy and buzzed out from adrenaline.

Hyojung laughs.

*

Seunghee rings her doorbell the night after her debut.

Jiho answers it and goes into a state of panic, offering Seunghee juice and fruits and crackers until Mihyun emerges from the room and Jiho can stop pretending that Mihyun isn't there.

'Do you want to come in?' Mihyun's too tired to think about why Seunghee's here, and Seunghee nods, trailing behind her as the door closes behind them.

'How did you know I would be here?'

'Just trying my luck,' Seunghee says. Seunghee never tries her luck, but Yoobin's out of reach and too far to point fingers at.

'Right,' Mihyun says, and forgets everything else when Seunghee breaks into a smile.

'I have something for you.' Seunghee reaches into her bag and pulls out a thin square wrapped in familiar brown paper. She places it in Mihyun's hands, folds them over the brown wrapping, and leans over to press her lips against Mihyun's forehead. Mihyun feels like time has stopped altogether.

'Open it,' Seunghee says, when she's far away and Mihyun dares to open her eyes again. 'But maybe not now, so we can discuss it when I see you again.'

*

Seunghee has opened their CD.

In the _thanks to_ , Mihyun thanks a storm. Seunghee's scribbled a _me too_ beside it, drawn a picture of Mihyun, hair soggy, in her debut outfit.

*

12:00 _you didn't think it'd be weird to just put that there?_

12:01 _no one reads the thanks-to from rookie group albums anyway_

12:02 _uh, ok, then who am i?_

12:02 _hyun seunghee, potential english names selena, sarah, solo-singer, superstar_

12:03 _oh yeah, people will read my thanks-to for sure_

12:03 _definitely_

12:04 _maybe not with the name superstar though_

12:05 _corny names are all the rage now, i thought you'd know_

*

The next time Mihyun meets Seunghee, Yewon's changed her obsession to Brown bear. Mihyun wouldn't say she's not disappointed.

'Your album's sold out,' Seunghee tells her, tugging at her sleeve.

'That's cause we only stocked five copies!' Yewon calls from the back.

Seunghee laughs.

'They stocked at least a hundred the last time I was here,' Seunghee says.

Mihyun lets out a breath, and takes another one in.

Seunghee's hand is warm over hers.


End file.
